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Jan 27, 2016

Another Story

Another Story

About us.

Oh, I think we should just stay friends. I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now 'I'' have to pay ''them'! My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book 'Earth in the Balance'', and the much more popular ''Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth', we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.

Attack of the Killer App

Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! No, of course not. It was… uh… porno. Yeah, that's it. I love this planet! I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring. As an interesting side note, as a head without a body, I envy the dead.

  • Oh right. I forgot about the battle.
  • Oh dear! She's stuck in an infinite loop, and he's an idiot! Well, that's love for you.
  • Meh.
  • Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?

Jurassic Bark

Who am I making this out to? Bender, hurry! This fuel's expensive! Also, we're dying! We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised. Say it in Russian! No, of course not. It was… uh… porno. Yeah, that's it.

Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences

Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way? What kind of a father would I be if I said no? Oh, you're a dollar naughtier than most. Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?

  1. Check it out, y'all. Everyone who was invited is here.
  2. Of all the friends I've had… you're the first.
  3. Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?
The Cryonic Woman

You know, I was God once. I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. Oh dear! She's stuck in an infinite loop, and he's an idiot! Well, that's love for you. So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?


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